Just a Thought (playing with myself)

• Why must I play with myself?

• Why can’t I stop lusting and start living?

A little about me before you continue reading is that I play with myself, a lot, or at least I think it is more than natural. Basically, I like the opposite sex and I am an frustrated-average-Joe. Personally, I am just overly playful and I get a lot of playful thoughts daily. I am the true stereotype about men who think about doing it every 7 seconds. But lets call it a day and break even at 10.

So I start to think that maybe these thoughts or rather any single thought of mine could go on forever. An infinite life filled on one idea. Doing it! I wanted to tackle this question. I wanted to find an answer that gave a satisfying conclusion. I wanted to chill out on these temptations. Is it unnatural? Nature? Am I late? Yikes.

It led a friend and me into a winter break bet of highs and lows this cold month. We were lost in thought over doing it. At least I know I was. I always am. We even had a bet where for two months we would not lust unless it was meant to happen with the opposite sex. Long story short, we failed. Eventually we both caved in to our most internal animalistic desires in a mere six days, at best. We tried to find alternatives unsuccessfully. The obvious alternative would be a social atmosphere, more interaction from the sex you are attracted too, and of course a good work ethic. Right? Yikes.

That is my friend sitting in the middle. So sad.

But I do not need to. I want to. Hell, I think my habit will continue with or without my personal compliance. Technically no one really asks to be horny (Well maybe some do). I kinda just grew into it.

My Guess

Most philosophical or religious reasoning’s when you take science out of the picture is because of a basic need for survival. Lust leads to sex in some form or another and this is how babies are born, normally. This is Creation and Creation overrules anything in our mortal realm.

I noticed and I am sure most can relate that after you get done with the naughty act you usually drift elsewhere. The lust is gone until it fills up again like a routine.
This will go indefinitely which led me to my first statement of the infinite loop in thought over an activity or another that keeps popping up in our head but never interpreted. Never finalized.

For me personally it means I can go my whole life lusting to fill a void that once filled starts all over tomorrow just like the rising of the sun. I think that sucks personally.

Or

I can objectively let this routine continue and like a scientist, observe it. Notice it. But do not be consumed by it. Somehow pull out once my conclusion, a thesis, is complete. Something completes my desire or need that compels me to be out of control. It could be a simple solution, do it. Which is what I imagine I am trying to do now. But everyone goes at there own pace. Even if mine is a snails speed in comparison. This is not rocket science. Just chemistry.


My Conclusion

I am proud of this

I will always have a lust for women. Just like a lust for power or the need for objects that drives people to do crazy things. But this lust does not control me. It is not even mine.

I just picture myself in my room waking up mid morning on a lazy Saturday. Noises from outside my window wake me up. I push my blinds to the side gently to see the interaction of a social activity taking place and myself, well, feeling left out and entranced by it.
So I simply lay back down on my bed and play some music as I fantasize about these events to a greater extent and drift off into my own surreal world in my room.

I must ask though, isn’t this itself, simply the same as self-indulgence?

Red Rocket Boy!

Instead of dwelling into my own activity of a similar nature or asking to participate in theirs I stay reserved like a bear during a winter slumber.
Although I think the answer is simple. Life is irrational. Life is chaos. There is no real order or routine to the fun or boredom that takes place here in your life or anyone’s. Especially my lustful life. Right?

But when we feel left out we play with outselves, giving into these delusions. Because we think that we are missing out on something. Just like lust, another word creeps into our minds, fear. This could even prove that our minds are ruled by mortal sins. Some kind of pattern maybe? Just like the Ten Commandments of planet Earth.

What I get from all this mumbo jumbo is a

Final statement

Life is not a game of fantasy, but fantasy is meant to express our inner desires that will push ourselves into the trivial chaos that some call life.

Live your life. Everything else is just inspiration. Even fear. Even doing it.

Do not let it consume you. You are in control of your life. You can either Believe this or go play with yourself.

- Peace