This is my Phobia

Dear Neighbors,

I come to you with pressing news of a buggy nature, or dare I say, arachnid. A week ago I was talking with a friend outside of my complex, which is just a few clicks (Military talk!) from the pool and stairs, when we both saw something that caught our eyes. What we saw was a Black Widow. Now I did not personally see the Redback mark, but let me assure everyone that this was not the Australian False Widow.

Moving on, when we saw the spider it paid little attention to us while moving from the bushes past our feet to under the stairs. I, being a bit of an Arachnophobic, was barely able to move let alone try and stop it or even watch it for too long (I assumed the worst). Fear not! After two weeks of ‘Wikipedia’ research and some 3,000 or so Push-ups I came back to the danger zone ready to study the beast and possibly overcome my emotions. Now to be honest, I did not find the Monster, instead I found its White Widow male lover. In summary, my findings have shown that there is indeed a male creature that is a virgin. I know the male is a virgin because the females eat their lovers after pregnancy is confirmed (Black Widow pregnancy test?). Finally, the two exiles live underneath the stairs near my building in a creepy web as they wait for something. Remarkably, with my cunning wit, I have concluded that this Succubus is gathering up enough food to survive and then will immediately kill her partner after the lovemaking. Do not believe that this is a magical thing, although I think anyone should lose his or her virginity, even if it means dying. I think we must somehow stop this love session before more Black Widows spawn throughout our peaceful village. Personally, I am not taking any action (I can't), because of my curse. This is just an alert for everyone to keep their kids, pets, and make themselves aware that a virgin spider will be dying in the near future which means (Probably) more Succubus Beasts to freely roam around and taunt males. Plus they do have a poisonous bite; so watch out for that. Maybe females are immune to it? I will do some more research (This is the key).

Lastly, be safe and do not go on a spider killing rampage, we have to live with them just as much as they have to live with their barbaric rituals.

Sincerely,

-Anonymous Afro

Just to be clear...

To the editor,

I was so excited the first day I started up Ninthlobby.com even wording it Ninth Lobby and all. I disappoint myself by failing to post something every week and even missing the make-up posting the following week, so clearly explained in my pledge.

Enough of that, henceforth I am changing the format of my website and will be posting new fresh content in a timely manner. Now this could mean a lot, a little, or nothing every week, but it is all intentional, a facade!

- Thank You and God Bless America