Dateless

Dateless

I remember hating fairs, carnivals, and Carnies. So... one night I go to a 'Funfair' with some friends. I was the only dateless guy there, basically single, with a troupe of couples. I do not remember much except arriving in a long line for some spinning ride to Hell, it was not the dipper. When it was my turn to get into the rusty cage I failed to realize the two person requirement. I tried to calmly back away but the Carny said, "Come on son get in! You waited for this." I bravely replied, "No, its cool" and tried to walk to the exit where I could meet my friends later. Suddenly, a group of girls behind me stalled me with their aura, "Where are you going vanilla chocolate" one blond said. Keep in mind, my friends along with several other people were already on the ride waiting for me to make up my damn mind. "Hes good," the blond said to the Carny as she grabbed my arm and forced me into the rusty trap. 

The doors locked and I swallowed my resistance, she was being kind right? We went up high into the sky and she stared into my eyes. I think she wanted to share a deep gaze of wonder and that is when I thought to myself, "I'm getting laid tonight." She really only said one thing that has still stuck in my mind to this day, "Don't throw up on me, OK babe?" This was about the time I felt a spiking pain in my stomach, was it love? I resisted any contact with her during the whole ride as I gripped my stomach with my weak little hands. She had cursed me with those words "OK Babe?" Although, it was probably not those two. This shared moment was hopeless, me dateless, and she... she seemed cool. 

As the ride came to a close and the Carny slowly let couples out one-by-one, I tried not to swallow the puke that had surfaced. I was going to break the bond I had shared with this blond. I bravely held the horror creeping out of my mouth as best I could. Each couple that left the ride tilted the cage and my stomach. I felt the purge from within and the demon was quickly released from the depths of despair. I held my it in my mouth as best I could, but that seemed to only make it worse. It was our turn to exit and I could see the Carny give a little smile as he slowly opened the gate. I still do not know why, but it was at this moment, I turned towards the blond and threw up on her. 

"It was not meant to be," a friend later told me as I threw up some more in the back of the Funfair. In all honesty, I probably made her night. After the fire from within was extinguished and the blond long gone, I walked away proudly... to the nearest bathroom. I naturally had to freshen up.