Dateless
I remember hating fairs, carnivals, and Carnies. So... one night I go
to a 'Funfair' with some friends. I was the only dateless guy there,
basically single, with a troupe of couples. I do not remember much
except arriving in a long line for some spinning ride to Hell, it was
not the dipper. When it was my turn to get into the rusty cage I failed
to realize the two person requirement. I tried to calmly back away but
the Carny said, "Come on son get in! You waited for this." I bravely
replied, "No, its cool" and tried to walk to the exit where I could
meet my friends later. Suddenly, a group of girls behind me stalled me
with their aura, "Where are you going vanilla chocolate" one blond
said. Keep in mind, my friends along with several other people were
already on the ride waiting for me to make up my damn mind. "Hes good,"
the blond said to the Carny as she grabbed my arm and forced me into
the rusty trap.
The doors locked and I swallowed my resistance, she was
being kind right? We went up high into the sky and she stared into my
eyes. I think she wanted to share a deep gaze of wonder and that is
when I thought to myself, "I'm getting laid tonight." She really only
said one thing that has still stuck in my mind to this day, "Don't throw up on
me, OK babe?" This was about the time I felt a spiking pain in my
stomach, was it love? I resisted any contact with her during the whole
ride as I gripped my stomach with my weak little hands. She had cursed
me with those words "OK Babe?" Although, it was probably not those two. This
shared moment was hopeless, me dateless, and she... she seemed cool.
As
the ride came to a close and the Carny slowly let couples out
one-by-one, I tried not to swallow the puke that had surfaced. I was
going to break the bond I had shared with this blond. I bravely held
the horror creeping out of my mouth as best I could. Each couple that
left the ride tilted the cage and my stomach. I felt the
purge from within and the demon was quickly released from the depths of
despair. I held my it in my mouth as best I could, but that seemed to
only make it worse. It was our turn to exit and I could see the Carny
give a little smile as he slowly opened the gate. I still do not know
why, but it was at this moment, I turned towards the blond and threw up
on her.
"It was not meant to be," a friend later told me as I threw up
some more in the back of the Funfair. In all honesty, I probably made
her night. After the fire from within was extinguished and the blond
long gone, I walked away proudly... to the nearest bathroom. I
naturally had to freshen up.
