Comedy Thoughts: Beginnings

Its funny when I look back at my comedy beginnings. Every time I went onstage I was so hopeful, so proud. I was a lion tamer. A gladiator. A true individual chasing after his dreams. Yes... I was living my life.

Structuring stories and jokes, Hell, sentences and words, were a challenge. Everyday I thought about comedy I was happy. Yet, thinking about what to say got me a bit blue. I lacked in focus. Comedy material in my mind was a success; but that is my mind. How do you produce success? Semi-laughs? Bullshit. People need to laugh. Real laughs. Cry to death. Run out of breath. I need to kill people with words when I perform. Do you think people will really care about what I say? It has been roughly six months into my comedy career; four dollars made so far. Sufficed to say, this is my passion. I love comedy. Everything in my life to my very core points to comedy.

Only two issues block me. One, material. It takes work, just like grade school. I am terrible with school. But I can do it and I want to. For sure I have to kick the RnR. Drugs, girlfriends, video games, even my mother. Any distractions from my passion will hurt me. All in moderation of course. If those things really help me then they would have never come up in that last sentence.

I improvise my material. Like my life. Like most people do with thoughts to paper. Secondly, and oddly enough, my difficulty is personality. I never really developed mine in public. My behaviors are so personal and weird or so I thought. Everyone is weird. Getting myself to develop, live, in-front of others is a real challenge, but the more I perform the better I get at it. Same for my material. I still need to be more into the comedy world then I am and I can be. I just need to kick some old/new habits. If I want this life, I will make it.