The Truth

Resisting to tell the truth is destroying my insides... When I was in elementary school, 1st to 3rd grade, I was disappointed in my family and ready to run. It was Easter morning and a few of the neighbors in the community wanted to hold a small event for all the local kids. The adults got together and hid all kinds of eggs in the giant grass field that was surrounded by all the main houses on our block. Real eggs were crap and the gold was the candy in the plastic eggs. I noticed various shapes in the oval bodies and was hoping for chocolate among else. My parents surprised me with this celebration, a Easter Egg hunt! I went into a line with the rest of the kids and had my small wooden basket in hand. I was going to win. I was bigger than the others, faster, and just way more excited. I normally get excited in public presence and I could not resist the temptation to prove I was better. To be the best. An obsession of many, lack of satisfaction as we continue to do our very best each day.

Anyways, when they let us go I went wild. I jumped around kids, ran, skidded, sneaked, my eyes went crazy. In less than minutes my basket was full.

At this point my memory goes a little blank, so I apologize for the thinning the details in the finish about to follow. Instantly when I started to show off my winnings I saw devastation. Kids were crying, parents frustrated. The yelling began, people pointed, angry stares became standard. I messed up and pressure began to weigh my body down, like gravity had just been increased. I ran to my home as my mom also beckoned me over. On the front porch I sat on the welcome home sign. I put my basket bounty in front of me with a clear view of the battlefield I had devastated moments prior. My mom talked to me. Then my dad. Then my sister's. Teasing, anger, unapologetic sympathy. "Why Shan? Not Fair, Who said you could, Give them back, It's wrong, No Shan!" 

What happened? What did I do? Why am I a bad person?

I didn't think about it at the time but I took all the eggs and ruined the game. All the other kids were too slow, not clever enough, or visual enough. Who knows anymore. I had tactics and finesse mixed with speed, plus my eyes. I have always been so observant and I move fast, really fast because of it and nobody is perfect. 

Sorry, delaying. 

I was excited to win, but it hurt everyone. I believe I ruined Easter because I was determined to win, I was selfish and stupid. So I ran. I didn't go far, but hated to cry around my family, it was just shameful. I hid in the bushes in front of the local postbox where little kids can disappear. The cops showed up and couldn't find me but then it got dark. I came home hungry and depressed. My head down and my body aching I knocked. My little sister answered and let me in. I sat down to a cold dinner table as my dad gave a speech about worry and family. I ate a cold meal and slept through a dark night. I didn't dream, yet I am sure I did, and I did forget this day. Years followed and not only would I pursue anger or disappointment, I encourage it in my attitude and way of life.